Vaccine
by CaramelDatsun
Summary: Apparently, Transformers need to be debugged every once in a while, and Ratchet makes it into a sport. Animated


"Prowl, where are you going?"

The ninja bot beckoned for the yellow mech to be quiet. "Keep it down!"

"Huh? Why?"

Sighing, Prowl replied, "You obviously don't know what time of stellar cycle it is. Remember? It's around that Ratchet's at his happiest."

Bumblebee was still confused. "Wait, 'happiest'? Shouldn't that be a good thing?"

"Not when you know why he's so happy."

---

"Prowl! Good to see you!" Ratchet said in an oddly cheerful voice. Prowl had entered the Medbay in a sullen manner with Bumblebee right behind him. "My, is it that time of stellar cycle already? I hadn't noticed."

"Just…get it over with…"Prowl snarled. "You know I hate this day nearly as much as I hate Sentinel Prime…"

"Alright, alright, let me just get my equipment." Ratchet replied, ducking down to grab some things.

"Hey, what's going on in here?" Sari Sumdac had entered the room, looking around curiously.

"Um, I honestly have no idea." Bumblebee said, looking at Prowl. "Prowl, what the slag is going on?"

"Why, didn't you know?" Ratchet called from behind the recharge berth. "You of all bots should know what today is, Bumblebee…" The Medic emerged, armed to the teeth with what appeared to be strange, pointy computer chips and Transformer sized…needles.

"It's Vaccination Day!"

---

Bee was running hard and fast with Sari in tow. How could he have forgotten the WORST day of the year?!

"Bumblebee, why are you running?" Sari asked. "Shots aren't that bad."

"Your HUMAN ones, maybe," Bumblebee nearly screamed. "But our shots…" He shuddered. "They're AWFUL!"

---

"Ah, there's always one who runs, right Prowl?" Ratchet said cheerfully, as he administered the defense program to the ninja bot. Prowl only nodded, clearly resisting the urge to make a sound due to the pain. Indeed, Transformer vaccinations were by far more painful than their human counterparts, more like an electric shock than anything else.

"Well, once I finish up Prime's and Bulkhead's shots, I'll get to looking for Bumblebee…" Ratchet had an evil grin plastered onto his face. "Ooor, I could just hunt all three of them down."

"You really are a sparkless glitch, you know that?" Prowl growled, as the needle was removed from the back of his neck.

"Ah, I'm getting old, so let me have my fun…or else I MAY need to give you another dose of vaccination."

---

"Bulkhead! We have to go! NOW!" Bumblebee ran into the giant's room and screeched to a halt.

"Wha-? Bumblebee, what's got you all worked up?" The mech asked looking up from a painting he was working on.

"Don't you remember what today is? Ratchet's favorite day EVER!"

"Oh, is it time for that already?" Bulkhead replied, shrugging. "I'll have to pass Ratchet's office later then."

"Ok, you either have a high threshold for pain, or you're just nuts!"

"Maybe I'm both. Now do you mind? You're blocking my view of my model." The yellow bot turned to see Sari's teddy bear on a barstool in front of a black backdrop.

---

Ratchet pulled out the Transformer equivalent of a blowgun from a drawer. "Ah, there you are, my dear, old friend." He muttered, smiling. "Come on. We've got some hunting to do." Grabbing a large pouch filled with several needles and pointy computer chips and donning a camouflage headband, he grinned ferally.

He felt so young again.

Optimus and Bulkhead would come willingly for their shots, but Bumblebee…'Well,' the Medic thought, "I think I need to remind myself WHY Lockdown liked hunting other bots so much.'

Grinning, he stalked out of his office, shutting the door behind him.

The hunt had begun, and nothing, Autobot, Decepticon or human, was going to get in his way.

---

Bee's driving could only be described as 'panicked' and 'terrified'.

"Bumblebee, slow down!" Sari yelped, as the frenzied mech swerved through traffic. "You're gonna crash into someone or get us arrested or something!"

"I'm willing to take that risk, if it means STAYING AWAY FROM RATCHET!" Bee practically screamed at her.

"What's the big deal? Are your shots really that bad?"

"THE WORST."

---

Ratchet loved this part of his job: Stalking his prey.

The crusty old Medic had an inner fire glowing in his optics. Ah, yes, there was Bee, swerving into a parking garage…Yes, an easy place to target him, but they both had to be selective of their hiding places.

Transforming into his alt mode, the Medic followed Bee, never letting him get out of scanner range.

---

"I think we'll be safe in here for a little while." Bee panted, transforming and setting Sari down on the ground.

"Seriously, Bee, are your shots really THAT bad or are you just exaggerating the pain as per usual?" Sari asked, flopping down o the ground.

"For once, Sari, I'm not exaggerating…" Bee replied grimly. "The second the thing latches onto you, you get the worst shock of your life. It's almost as painful as getting hit by Megatron's fusion cannon…"

"Wow, that bad, huh? Well, why don't you just get it over with?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING? Ratchet'll torture me until he's actually got the shots ready!"

Suddenly, there was a faint 'woosh', and Bee felt something graze his cheek and hit the wall, where it shattered.

"What was that?" Bee yelped, slapping his hand to his cheek. Looking around wildly, he spotted the glint of a blue optic in the distance. Yelling in panic, he transformed and drove off.

"Hey! Bee, you forgot me!" Sari yelled, trying to run after him.

Ratchet pulled up, passenger door ajar. "Get in, kid!" He yelled. "The chase is always sweeter when they're panicking!"

---

Bee had begun to drive off-road without realizing it. But that hardly mattered right now because he could tell that Ratchet was right behind him, ready to tag him with one of those needles, or worse, one of those chips. Those things left you sore all over for days.

He had been so busy thinking, he hadn't been watching where he was going. All of a sudden, he hit something that stopped him in his tracks.

" 'Ey, watch it, scrapheap!" A familiar voice grunted.

Bee transformed to see he'd just crashed into the backside of a cement mixer.

"Oh slag…" he swore, as the cement mixer transformed.

---

"Bee's stopped moving…"Ratchet reported, skidding to a halt. "Good. He's probably resting. We'll catch him by surprise."

"Ratchet, are these shots really that bad, or is Bumblebee being…Y'know, himself?" Sari asked.

"Generally, these shots aren't too bad, but they will sting for a while. Bee's just acting like a sparkling…" Ratchet said, transforming. Retrieving his blowgun from a subspace pocket, he loaded it with a dart and began stalking through the brush in such a way that would make Prowl proud, with Sari perched on his shoulder.

Once they caught sight of Bumblebee, they saw he wasn't resting after all…he was being dangled upside down by one leg by the Constructicons.

"Let go!" Bee was yelling, trying to regain his balance. "You have no IDEA what's chasing me!"

"Yeah, like we'd believe that! What do we look like, idiots?" Mixmaster snorted. "Yo, Scrapper! Call up Megatron and tell 'im we caught that yappy little Autobot!"

"Ratchet, this is an easy shot! Take it!" Sari said excitedly.

"No, this is a cheap shot, Sari…there's a difference," Ratchet replied. "I'd rather take Bumblebee down when he's capable of fleeing. That Decepticon, however…"

---

Mixmaster was still holding Bee by one leg, when he was hit in the arm.

The Constructicon yelped and yowled at the sudden pain, dropping Bee. The yellow bot rubbed the back of his helm before spotting Ratchet and fleeing.

"Yo, Mix, what's wrong?" Scrapper asked, looking back at his friend. The other bot yowled as a needle buried itself in the back of his neck.

"Let's go!" Sari yelled, as Ratchet sped out of the clearing, ignoring the two mechs jumping around and yelping in pain.

---

"Vat eez the meaning of ziz?" Blitzwing landed in the clearing, as the two mech managed to pull the needles out of their frames. "Megatron sent me to check on you after you claimed to have captured that annoyance, Bumblebee…" The mech's face changed to his red, angry face. "VELL?! VERE IZ HE?!" He demanded. His face then changed to the black, random face. "OOH! Are ve playing hide and seek? I love zat game!"

"Well, we had 'im…" Mixmaster groaned, looking at the crazy mech. "But we were hit by these weird things, and man, they hurt!"

"Hmmm." Bliztwing's icy face looked at the needle that Scrapper handed to him. "I see. It vould seem that ve aren't ze only vones targeting zat Autobot today."

---


End file.
